70. A New Form Of Life

You’re forever stuck with your own point of view. There’s no way to escape from your subjectivity. There’s no way to see yourself as you exist in this moment from outside your own body.

Even advanced technology capable of recording your every word, expression, and movement wouldn’t help. A recording can’t solve the problem because what you actually want is to be able to observe yourself in each and every moment as it happens. You want to see yourself right now, from a third-person perspective, without being influenced by your observations. But there is no tool that can offer this kind of objectivity.

69. Awareness As A Goal

We want to be successful, so we are always thinking about our goals. We reflect on which goals to set. We measure our progress towards them. We often achieve them through careful self-control. We believe that happiness is only possible if we obtain the success that reaching our goals seems to promise.

All of our actions are devoted to this cause. We measure and evaluate and plan everything we do for the purpose of fulfilling our goals. These goals might be significant projects that will take months or years to complete, but they can also be so small that we don’t even realize they are goals. Our compulsion towards measurement and progress is so strong that we might even go so far as to plan out our spare time to achieve the best possible outcome, even if it is just to maximize the pleasure we experience.

68. To Be Anywhere But Here

She has been listening to him talk without pause for nearly half an hour now. Just when she thinks he’s about to stop, he launches another salvo of words at her. The gala was supposed to be an opportunity to relax, and maybe even have fun, but now she’s trapped, unable to escape from this rain of endless chatter. If he were just anyone, she could’ve walked away or told him to get lost. The problem is that this man is her boss.

67. Witnessing Suffering

It is when I’m suffering most that I most need to open myself to the suffering of others. By seeing the links between their suffering and my suffering, I’m better able to see that the root of our suffering is the same. And by seeing the root of suffering more clearly, I’m also better able to see how to bring it to an end.

Even when my suffering is insignificant, there are others around me who are suffering greatly. To feel their suffering as my own can be overwhelming. I might want to reject it by closing my eyes or by escaping to a comfortable place. I might want to distract myself from it through media or games or some other pleasure-seeking behaviour.

66. Clearing The Ground

It can feel like a mistake to destroy what we have already spent so much effort creating. We have something real and tangible right now, but if we destroy it, then we will have nothing.

It feels like we would not only be discarding what was built, but also its meanings. When we build something we expend time and effort — real parts of our own lives we cannot get back. This meaningful expenditure becomes part of the meaning of the created object. In addition, the longer the object is part of our world, the greater the role it seems to play in the meaning of that world. These acquired meanings feel valuable in themselves and we do not want to lose them.

65. Sticky Texts

You’re cleaning your desk when you come across a book. You started it a long time ago, and then put it down one day and forgot about it entirely. You open it to the page where you left off, but you don’t recall the text. You go back to the start of the chapter and vague memories begin to float to the surface. The book is nonfiction and packed with information. You don’t remember the details but this doesn’t bother you.

64. Needing Purpose

What is life for? Is it for having new experiences and finding happiness? Is it for learning about the world and ourselves? Is it for achieving material success and building a family? Is it for supporting others and making the world better for future generations? Is it for expressing ourselves and creating beautiful art? Perhaps life is for all of these things and more.

If we have an answer to the question of life’s purpose then the question dissolves without a fight. But what if all answers fail to satisfy? What if others question our answer and tell us it’s wrong? What if we can’t convincingly defend our answer?

63. I Am Not Alone

I step out of the train station and into the open air. The weather is pleasant enough but there are clouds pregnant with rain in the distance. I’ve never been here before, but I know the station is near a body of water. Either a lake or a big river. I can’t remember which. I look around but there is no water to be seen. Just the concrete of the station and a huge, empty parking lot. There is not a single person in sight.

62. New Beginnings

A strong feeling is present in me but I do not understand it. To see it clearly, I need to sit patiently with it. I need to allow it to exist without any form of interference. I can’t try to preserve it, fight it, or control it. It might last for a long time or it might depart quickly, but this is not up to me.

Right now, I am only an observer. I am not even the source of the feeling. I am looking at the feeling, watching it without any intention or goal. If I achieve anything, it will only be in seeing what my feeling is and where it comes from.